For those love ones who loves Joreen, you may visit her @

♥ 10 May 08, 01:08 Ring0

A strong and brave gal, whom always showered her love and cares to her surrounding friends and families.

A filial gal who loves her family deeply & a devoted person who loves her boyfriend truly.

A cheerful gal who never reveal her sorrow and pain to upset others, and a gal who never give up easily in life.

"You know I love my friends, Ying, Me, Qing, Jefferson and Yun. I know them since they are in kindergarten, and this two I know them during pri sch time. They are friends I care a lot. I hope they got less problems to worry and lead a good life." - (she smiled sweetly and pointed at their photos at her pinboard)"

"I love my ex-students. Especially the Choir members. They are a very lovely bunch of students I miss a lot. They made paper flower and we have chocolate cake for farewell party. Staffs at Guanyang Pri Sch also very fun and loving. See that's their photos. - (She pointed at the pinboard on their pictures, and she talks with joy)"

"I love Ah Ling's baby. I am Aunty liao..Jie, you know I give Ah Ling baby's a baby frame for her to put all the different years growing up photos. Sweet right? Hee Hee " - (She chat with a heart)

"You know I suffered this illness. I saw that Ah Ma, Da Yi, Aunty Ah Kok, Aunty Ah Hwee (Ah Hui) and your Ma Ma very concern for me. I felt touched. I find that kinship always strong and bonded, I feel relief" - (she chat with a heart)

She framed this photo at her bedroom's pinboard

She love this bunch of students

derrick. (jo's friend): 2 tim 4:7 " i have fought a good fight, i have finished my course, i have kept the faith" i believe we can be very proud of joreen for the fighting spirit she has demonstrated.

♥ Posted by gyss student (::

In memory of Tay Xin Yu. In memory of her innocence, cheerfulness and faith.

She was once again warded in SGH on 21st of April due to constipation. She had a very caring pallative care doctor ( doctor Lalit ) who seemed to know exactly what she experienced. The pain the uncomfortness, the sleepness nights. It was through this understanding that he formed a very special bond with Jo and took as much efforts to control her pain as possible. And even though she is in pain in lots of times, she would smile to people when they visit them. Imagine something blocking your intestines, all your facees trapped in your digestive system and thats what Jo is experiencing. And yet she cannot stop eating as she needs energy to continue leaving. We can only reduce the pain so that she can enjoy her time with whatever that she likes.

That week, I was very busy with finding the renovation work, the exhaust sizing etc for my first outlet in Bugis Junction. As such, I din manage to sleep overnight at hospital with her most of the nights except on 25th night. I stayed overnight not because i worried for her but because I know she is at best in the morning and if it is terribly hard for me to get up early in morning to travel from woodlands to SGH. Indeed, we enjoyed some quality time. In the morning, we chatted with Dr lalit, he confronted me with my feelings for what her oncology had on Jo in her presence. ( That is " your girlfriend is not going for another chemotherapy, how are you accepting it" ).

I told him that I am very frustrated with myself, with doctors, with the family as I think we can do more. I mean why dont the docs try another experimental drugs on her, there could be a chance she would have reaction and get cured. Why don't the brother quite his temp job to help take care of her so that the mother can have more rest. Why don't the mother give her what she wants, as in the good food that she used to cook to her before she fall sick and not those " nutritious" food which could make you puke. Why I have to do business and not spend more time with her and research so that I can plan to send her over to overseas for alternative treatments.

It was until Dr Lalit told us his real life story, that he has got a doc girlfriend who suffered from cancer and that she was the type that would try out every single type of drug which may work. For normal patient, she should have 2 years before she passed away but as she tried all the drugs she survived 4 years. But throughout the 4 years, she is suffering from all the pain and side effects of the drugs on her.

He explained to me that we must differentiate from what we want and what she wants. We wanted her to be alive, even though she may suffer, but thats not what she wants. She wanted quality time. Would you rather enjoy life for 1 year and die or live for 2 years and be unconcious for 1.5 years? I finally understood. I had been putting too much on her all these while. Before that talk, I still cannot take it that Jo will have no cure. I believe that if we have a will, there is a way. That has always been what I believe. Of course, I cryed throughout the conversation. I told her that I do not know what my life would be without her. Even her existence has an aura for me to live well and move on but without her I dunno ...

In order to not to worry her, I told her that I will be strong no matter what. If I want to collapse, I have every reason to do so, but I will not because I will be strong for her. So I told her not to worry about me, I'll pull through no matter what. She said " I am never worried for you, even when you are buried in the ground with your head only left on top, plus give you 2 chopsticks in the mouth, I think you can also survive"

I laughed a bit, ya lor, "I'll use dig myself up using the chopsticks and use myself as bait to capture some vultures for makan so that I can survive"

"See ! thats what I meant " Jo replied

I think I have already accepted that she is having limited time. But perhaps for some time more like months. We are looking at giving her the best quality time, so that she can have minimal pain but stay concious and do things she wanted to do.

However, on the morning of 28th April, I received call from Dr Lim Soon Tyne (Oncologist ). " Hei, xinyu seems to be not very stable, do come down to see her fast "

I was on my way to my unit and I've arranged a time for NEA inspection in that morning but I sensed that something is not right. If I don't pass the inspection, I don't need to do business. So, I called Kim ( my contractor ) to go meet the NEA officer on behalf, I told her everything and she changed her appointment just to help me.

I reached Jo at about 830 am. Dr Lalit is beside her holding her hand. I took over from Dr Lalit and he asked me to just hold her hand and accompany her. Then, she told me these : " Help me do what I can't do" After that she din managed to talk anymore. Her eyes are opened but she never respone to my questions. Soon the mother arrived, I took that chance to see Dr Lalit to know about her condition.

This morning " we discovered that the cancer cells has affected her so much that her liver is failing, at a very rapid rate. So she is trying very hard to remain awake. Go talk to her, she can hear you, she may not reply but she can hear you. " Myself and jo mummy stayed by her side, soon the aunnties, brothers and father arrived. " Jo papa come to see you le leh " " Jo Jo" Pastor came to along with church people, prayed for her and sang for her. She seemed to be at peace after that. Myself, mummy daddy and joseph and Jamuel stayed by her side. I holded her hands. We keep calling her, but she did not reply us. Then her breathing slows down. Dr Lalit was there as well and mummy asked him why is she breathing slower.

"Her breath is getting slower and slower until she may not have the next breath", and " soon enough, her next breath never came ". I was shocked, the mummy kept shouting her name, I holded on to her hands. Brothers father all shouted her names. But the next breath never came. I knew she was gone. But I could not face the reality. I left her bed while her parents are still calling her name. I went into the toilet in the ward and bursted into tears. I know my head several times on the wall, it was not as pain as what my heart is going through.

I left the room and walked to the corridoor, I squated down to cry. I dun noe how long I stayed there but I can hear Mummy is still calling her, but she won't reply.

I picked myself up, remembering what she told me. I'll take care of her family for her and everyhing which she cannot do.

So I went in telling mummy:

"Auntie, Jo is in heaven now, she do not need to suffer anymore pain, her hair is once again long and silky. She is happy and active again as she had before, She do not like to lie on the bed, we cannot be selfish and keep her here but not allow her to be what she wants"

Nonetheless, mummy fainted. Church people are very supportive, the arranged the wake immediately and I have to inform all her friends about this. I have to choose a nice picture for her wake. Yes its the pic on the top.

I'll continue again when I have time, I think I really need to rest at the moment.

♥ Posted by Zheng Xiong - May 2, '08 3:23 PM

thank you for your lessons, joreen
today brings a close for all of us who know Joreen Tay.

Joreen was cremated at the Mandai Crematorium earlier today at 10am after a short service was held in remembrance of her. i tried to hold back the tears because i, as a christian, know that death is part of life, a necessary step in order to gain eternal life that our God as given us when we believed him.

but it was really hard. when the coffin was loaded onto the hearse, when her boyfriend of ten years broke down in tears, when the coffin was pushed into the furnace, when her mum gave out a long drawn wail, tears welled up in my eyes. even though God told us not to mourn like the rest of the world for we have hope, it was still very difficult for me to hold back the tears. i couldn't bear to watch the moment where her coffin was pushed in by the automated machine. it's a moment i wish i never have to go through again but one which is impossible to avoid.

God made the first man, Adam, with the dust of the earth, and when we leave the earth, we return to the dust where we first came from. today, Joreen's physical form is no longer a form we recognise, but i believe her life, her spirit, her story still touched many of the people, no matter how brief the contact was.

for me, her story has really taught me a lot of things about positivity in life, which i really admire of her.


her love for others

i was quite stunned when i checked my blog today. so many students from GuangYang Secondary School dropped messages on my tagboard to give their condolences to a teacher who has taught them (correct me if i'm wrong) for only a year.

i was reading through the content of some of their posts and most of them described her as an angel, which i have no doubt about.

Joreen has always been so giving, so generous with her help and love and it's no surprised that she has made a huge impact on the students whom she has taught even if it was only for a school year.

her love for others was also well shown in her exchanges with her friends, also wanting to inconvenience them in the least way possible, always making others feel so comfortable around her. she really humbled herself the way a christian should, in order to make others around her feel loved and this is a quality that is much easier to read about than to produce. Joreen, i can only hope to be a portion of as loving as you are, to your family, friends, students and every other person who has the honour to have met you.

the love she received

i was on the bus on the way home when i started thinking about the lessons i've learnt from joreen's story and nothing struck me more than the topic of unconditional love. God demostrated this by loving us despite our flaws and sinful nature and even though this is a young Christian family of nearly 4 months of getting to know God, God used them in such a wonderful way to present to us an example of this unconditional love.

Joreen's family have been caring continuing for her, making huge adjustments to their lifestyle just to cater to Joreen's needs. her mum especially have to make daily trips from their home in Tampines to SGH to visit Joreen everytime she was in hospital and this must have been really tiring for her. on top of that, she often made special meals for joreen as the hospital food can get a little dreadful sometimes and i know joreen was especially thankful for these treats as she polishes off each bowl of porridge and asks for more. despite the daily hassle, never once i saw her mum gave up or lose hope as she strives in everyway just to make sure her daughter feels a little bit more comfortable in her bid to recover from her illness.

it must have been difficult for her dad and younger brothers as well as i believe they had to change some part of their schedules just to care for joreen. they are a very close knit family and when i spoke to her dad on the first night, it was heart wrenching. he could barely speak and i could feel his loss and it really just pains me to see him like that.

by Joreen's side was also her partner of 10 years, zhen siong. if the earlier examples were stunning, this one was even more so, because while the earlier examples were acts of unconditional love from within the family, here was someone from outside who really loved joreen so much that he stood by her throughout the entire episode. sometimes when i go to the hospital, i would see him sleeping by the uncomfortable sofa sets in the lounge area after spending the night at the hospital just to be with joreen. moreover, he has his work to cope with and i can't imagine where he could draw his strength from other than the Lord. he could have walked out at any time when he heard the news but his example truly demostrates to us what it really means to love someone wholeheartedly.

for those of us who are in relationships, we know how easy it is to say "i love you" but to mean it, is much harder. Zhen Siong has set the bar, and i really admire him for being a wonderful partner for Joreen for nearly a decade. my thoughts and prayers are with you. be strong.

also, the love and support Joreen received from her other relatives as well as her friends and church mates have been of utmost importance to her i believe. i remember ministering to her in a song while she was in hospital not too long ago and one could really feel God's presence in the room, through the words of the hymn, through the sharings that so many others have shared, through the prayers that have been made with and for her. i believe Joreen was blessed by all of these. God put people in our life to have guide our path along life's narrow ways and in spite of this tragedy, God has orchestrated a miracle with the people he put around Joreen, for she was saved, along with her entire family and boyfriend. Praise the Lord.

her positivity

ask anyone who have met Joreen and the thing that probably had the most impact on them was her positivity, next to her angelic looks.

even though the pain she went through was indescribable, she always faced each new day with the same positivity that she has had all her life. to combat her illness, she tried every possible method, even emailing a doctor in China to have a look at her condition. no matter how faint the hope was (in the treatment), she was determined to give it a try. it was an attitude she carried all the way even till the end.

in this age of being emo and moody, joreen was really the face of "positivity". if there was ever a contest to judge who had the most positive outlook on life, joreen would probably win hands down. her bubbly personality made her even more endearing to those around her as she always manages to liven them up when they are down.

like i mentioned in her eulogy, no amount of needles and pain will stop her from producing a smile when someone happens to visit her. it still pains in my heart as i write this now, remembering how Joreen was hooked up to so many tubes and drips. she always tells me she's fine, and not to worry about her and that everything was in God's hands. that was Joreen for you, never letting a single thing get her down. though i know at certain point in her treatment, when certain results were not favourable, she did feel sad and disappointed. but not for long.

and it's easy to put this down to her being positive by nature but i believe that what God wanted to show and to learn from was that even the most positive of people do get down. but the most important part is how they bounce back up and face adversity with a new hope. and it's definitely easier with the Lord because like Joreen said, she knows everything is in control of the Lord and He knows what is best for her.

i decided that whenever i face difficulties, i will think back to what Joreen has gone through and how she reacted to bounce back in spite of how bleak the situation may seem. Joreen remembered her strength is in God. and i must constantly remember this fact as well.



there are so many other positives that i could draw from joreen's experience and though i'm really sad that she has left us in this world, at least i know she's no longer suffering, and with a new body received from Christ, is enjoying herself in heaven.

and even though i have been praying the same prayer everyday without fail for nearly 2 years, that God, "please heal her completely from the cancer and give her a life full of years, that she might be a great testimony of your love and grace to us and that she might go on to share her story and bring many others to know the God that she loves", in a way God has answered my prayers entirely.

Joreen is no longer in pain and is completely healed now in heaven. and her story will not be lost to the people whom have known her. i will always keep her story close to my heart and will share this example of God's love to as many others as possible, that they might see for themselves how God as orchestrated this entire symphony.

Joreen, till we meet again, you will be dearly missed by all.

♥ Posted by Peirong - I miss your beautiful smile ... 10:44 PM